Resistance can be a good thing and anytime that
you encounter resistance within yourself there is always a valid reason.
Resistance only becomes a concern for you when you identify the resistance
itself as the problem instead of clarifying why you are experiencing resistance
to whatever the real issue is.
Once you acknowledge the problem that needs to be
resolved you then are able to create an effective plan of action through the
resistance response to effectively deal with the inevitable change that is
presenting itself in your life.
If you havenít
figured it out yet, by the time that you are feeling resistant to something the
change is already happening or most likely happened. Your resistance comes up
when you do not feel adequately equipped to deal with the change that has
As opposed to
getting caught up in the emotional response of resistance, it is much more
effective to acknowledge what about the changed circumstance throws you off
balance. Once you recognize where you feel unprepared, you can identify the
information, skills, resources and support that you need to be able to navigate
through the change that is now part of your reality.
Resistance is simply an indication to you that
change is occurring
simply an indication to you that change is occurring or has occurred and that
you now need to approach a situation differently than you did prior to the
change taking place. As an example, when the warning light comes on in your car
to indicate that you are low on gas or that you need to check your engine, you
have a choice about how directly you want to deal with the information that is
now available to you.
The indicator light
itself is not the problem, it is simply telling you that something has changed
and puts you on notice that action is required. Not taking action within a
reasonable amount of time is one of the choices available to you, however making
that choice simply postpones taking direct action, it does not circumvent it.
Furthermore, in most cases choosing to postpone direct action almost always
means that more effort and/or resources are required to resolve the problem when
you do take the inevitable direct action at a later date.
To continue with
the car analogy, when the low fuel light comes on you will most likely fill your
gas tank at the next gas station that you come to. This is because the problem
and the solution are common experiences for you and you know exactly what the
appropriate action is to resolve the problem. However, for many of you because
you do not know the exact nature of the problem when the check engine light
comes on you feel immediate anxiety.
Being uncertain about what to do creates
If you are not an
auto mechanic and you do not have the knowledge required to correctly identify
the problem, then you are unable to choose the appropriate action without help.
Being uncertain about what to do creates resistance in you because not knowing
what to expect and how to prepare for an evolving or impending situation makes
you feel apprehensive and when you choose to postpone taking direct action you
become stuck in resistance.
you experience apprehension at the possibility that what might happen
and you are no longer engaging with what is happening and you are no
longer engaged in the present moment but instead mentally anticipating a future
moment that has not yet arrived. As a result you become immobilized and
disempowered begin to believe that you are unable to affect what is happening to
An inherent aspect
of resistance is denial, which only reinforces the emotional resistance
response. When you are stuck in resistance it is never resisting only one thing.
As soon as you do not take action, circumstances continue to change and you will
have another opportunity to make the choice to take direct action. When you
choose once again to delay acting, you are now in resistance to two things. Then
when a third opportunity to take direct action presents itself you and you again
choose inaction, the levels of anxiety, fear and uncertainty and the level of
resistance that you are experiencing increases accordingly.
resistance becomes an exponential domino effect and you begin to feel as if
circumstances are spiraling out of your control. The fact of the matter is that
they literally are because you continue to choose to give away your power to
affect the situation. You are perpetuating your sense of disempowerment by not
taking direct action.
You are afraid of making a wrong choice
Your resistance to
taking direct action is based on other situations in your life when you did take
action and the consequences were different than you expected primarily because
other people did not behave as you expected or wanted them to. You are afraid of
either making a wrong choice or being unable to make a right choice due to
circumstances that you perceive as beyond your control.
Returning to the
car analogy, when the check engine light comes on you might be able to convince
yourself that as long as there are no obvious clunking sounds or smoke pouring
from the engine that maybe it is not a serious problem. This choice to delay
direct action only serves to increase your anxiety because the solution to the
problem is still unknown. When you continue to drive the car and force yourself
to ignore the light that keeps indicating that something is wrong by choosing
denial and getting stuck in resistance this of course only serves to increase
your level of anxiety.
Many of you live
with this kind of anxiety on a daily basis for years at a time. You worry about
your finances, your relationships, your job, your health, your safety etc. The
list is endless and instead of clarifying the source of your concerns which
would allow you to seek out the information, support and resources that you need
to eliminate the unknown, you simply worry. This is an incredibly disempowering
way to live.
consideration to which areas in your life you are creating anxiety for you
because you are not dealing directly with the issues that require long overdue
direct action from you. If you are uncertain what the sources of your anxiety
are, pay attention to where you are thinking, even obsessing about a
relationship or situation without coming to a decision or taking any action.
Pay attention to
the conversations that you are having with other people. What are the issues and
situations that you consistently and repeatedly talk about? If you are thinking
or talking about something on a continual basis, chances are that you are not
taking direct action and addressing the issue in an empowered effective manner.
High sustained levels of anxiety affect your
levels of anxiety which result from ongoing resistance also affect your health.
If you are experiencing digestive difficulties, high blood pressure, panic
attacks, having trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all of the time, weight
gain, headaches, muscular pain, mood swings or any other indication that
something is not right with you physically or emotionally, consider the
possibility that these symptoms my be due to the levels of resistance and denial
that you are choosing to live with.
When you repeatedly
do this over time it literally changes how your brain processes decision making
and affects your synaptic responses and you become depressed. There is a point
at which your can alter your default mental/emotional response to such a degree
that you require the assistance of a counselor or psychologist and possibly
anti-depressant medication to help you move forward. An imperative aspect of
personal evolution is knowing yourself well enough to know when to ask for help.
Choosing to live in
resistance for long periods of time is exhausting and you begin to lose
confidence in your ability to make good decisions. Refusing to make a choice is
still a choice. Even when you make passive decisions there are consequences that
you are responsible for and over time you become disconnected from the awareness
of your ability to affect the circumstances in your life. As a result you begin
to feel as if the events in your life are happening to you instead of being
orchestrated by you.
Your life is exactly as you choose it to be
current circumstance and situation in your life right now is a result of how you
have responded to the changing circumstances presented to you up until this
point. Change is inevitable and your life is exactly as you choose it to be. If
you continue to make your life choices from a disempowered place you are
guaranteed to continue to be unhappy with your life circumstances.
You must attend to
the details of your life. There is no one else who can do it for you. It is
essential that you begin to dismantle the areas in which you are feeling
disempowered and hopeless and rebuild your self-confidence and trust in your
ability to make good decisions. By reclaiming your ability to manage your life,
you will be able to effortlessly take direct action and get out of the habit of allowing yourself to get stuck in an emotional
resistance response when you encounter change.